MarsEarth

Old world wisdom, new world insight – poems, poetry, philosophy, dreams, commentary, ideas


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Two cents worthy

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

The following “One Liners” are not necessarily puns.
I happily share them with you because when you read this,

you may have forgotten that it’s not quite Friday.
Here are my two cents worth of smile material.

And they make great toasts for your next imbibe interval.
Cheers! or Gotcha!

* Life is ugly. Get a faith lift.

* I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey. Then I turned myself around.

* Save the planet! It’s the only one with beer.

* Six out of seven dwarfs are not happy.

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Inanimate Objects don’t know they are inanimate

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

Remember the times
we all have stubbed our toes?
That sofa corner says,
“This is the altar of foot woes.”

Lifted a glass full of liquid
and it spilled off the table?
The moisture surrounding it says,
“No grip is able.”

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Opera – the OG Mash-up*

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

The Magic Flute

What is the attraction to opera?

It is symphony and brass band, plus more.

It is ballet and passionate couples, but still more. 

It is theater with murder and lust and gentle creatures, and yet much, much more.

I saw my first opera at the age of 10, it was a travelling company performing a snippet of the Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart opera “The Magic Flute.” It was loud and boisterous.

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LISTS: The allure in power

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

There is a mystical allure in power,
not just energy and its light and heat,
or its forms as a particle or a wave.

Real power has potential while also being a consuming force. Continue reading


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A Chemist’s recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

The following recipe is attributed to Jeannene Ackerman of Witco Corp, from Chemical & Engineering News (1995).

This is NOT Jeannene as far as we know

Ingredients:
1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avain albumen-coated protien
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

 

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LISTS: I want my

I want my:

Analog                        M T V

Old Time         New Age Religion

C B                  Satellite Radio

Full Size          Hybrid Car

Family             Socialized Doctor

SPCA              Purebred Dog

Prayer              Condoms in School

Gold-based     Fiat Dollar

Full-service      Self-service Gas Station

Rotary             Cell Phone

Family             Solo Dinner Time

Real funny      Sexed-up Films at Theaters

Boy and Girl Scouts      Gangs getting Attention

Sky                  Marijuana Clouds to be Facinating

Patriots            Politicians to plan Tomorrow

Copyright © 1960-2015 Lawrence J. J. Leonard  All rights reserved.


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PUN Control

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

If you laugh, I thank you. If you don’t laugh, I did not do it.

~~~~

They make cat food out of cow, fish, turkey, chicken & lamb meat –

but not mouse meat – which is probably all a cat wants.

~~~~

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

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