by Lawrence J. J. Leonard
The following “One Liners” are not necessarily puns.
I happily share them with you because when you read this,
you may have forgotten that it’s not quite Friday.
Here are my two cents worth of smile material.
And they make great toasts for your next imbibe interval.
Cheers! or Gotcha!
* Life is ugly. Get a faith lift.
* I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey. Then I turned myself around.
* Save the planet! It’s the only one with beer.
* Six out of seven dwarfs are not happy.
* A brunch without booze is just a sad late breakfast.
* Guy who wrecked himself: “If I’d only checked myself.”
* Anything I say before coffee cannot be used against me.
* Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing. (True that!)
* The good ol’ days of perfect grammar has went.
* Every warning label has an awesome back story.
* Unless you fell on a treadmill, PLEASE DO NOT talk about your workout.
* Someone keeps putting vegetables in my beer crisper.
* God has a flan — for everyone. (Mmmm! Flan!)
* Caution – this machine has no brain. Use your own.
* When you find yourself in God’s country, stop driving like hell through it.
* When you are nice, you have an agenda. When you act out of kindness, you have no agenda.
If you want to impress me, show me how well you treat others.
Copyright © 1960-2018 Lawrence J. J. Leonard All rights reserved