MarsEarth

Old world wisdom, new world insight – poems, poetry, philosophy, dreams, commentary, ideas

Funny thing about Robots

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by Lawrence J. J. Leonard

Queen News of the World

American artist Frank Kelly Freas altered his 1953 painting for Queen’s album art.

They used to cling and clang. They were faceless and only had numbers for identification.
We now refer to them as “A” “I” creatures. But robots, as they will always be known,
only get the AI designation if they are higher up in the chip processing pecking order.

What is our fascination with a pile of bolts and silica personified? Power?

Is it that we want more than just a reflection of what we see? Relationship?

Is it that we are so surrounded by wonderful creation that we are inspired to re-create creation?

Robots seem to give us a pathway to enhance our own reality. Like Radio Controlled cars and drones.
Not like Virtual Reality (VR) at all. More so in a physical way.

These days robots can be much more.
How is this possible?

Rosie the Robot

Rosie has a crush on R.U.D.I. the homework computer.  It tutors Elroy who is standing next to Jane Jetson.

The circuits!
There are chips and circuits designed to process questions, recognize faces and talk back. They are small, mobile, efficient.

How about a programmable minicomputer that regulates your insulin flow for diabetes?
They began production 11 years ago.  There are 14,000 CHILDREN who are now insulin cyborgs.

How about a chip implanted in your brain to control body movements from Parkinson’s or Huntington’s disease?
They began production 2 years ago to affect deep brain stimulation with electronic transmissions.

Well, robots have been in vogue and seen as helpers of humans since the 1960s TV cartoon, “The Jetsons.”

What is around the corner is something of an incredible unforeseen development: Robot humor.

Can robots really look into the Human heart and ask what every other alien has asked us?
WTF is wrong with you people?

_ . _ . _ . _

Here are some jokes we (are going to) hear from robots . . . .

Human: What is the center of gravity?
Robot: The letter “V” !

_ . _ . _ . _

Tele-Medicine chat: “I heard the CIA paid a doctor to surgically enhance a vampire with an AI computer chip.
All they got were a lot of blood tests.”

_ . _ . _ . _

Human Math Student: What is 5Q + 5Q?
Robot Math Instructor: 10-Q
Human Math Student: You’re welcome!

_ . _ . _ . _

Robot therapist to AI colleague:  “Then he says, ‘My robot instructor pointed a yardstick at me and said,
“At the end of this measuring stick is a rude grump.” ‘
So I innocently asked him, “Which end were you talking about? “

_ . _ . _ . _

Robot Carpentry Instructor: What’s the largest piece of furniture in the school?
Human Carpentry Student: The multiplication table.
Robot Carpentry Instructor: What makes you say that?
Human Carpentry Student: Because it has infinite dimensions.

_ . _ . _ . _

Security Student: What happens when you take the bus home?
Security Robot: The police make you take it back.

_ . _ . _ . _

Weather Robot: Can you name the seasons?
Human Weather Student: Sure! Salt, pepper, ginger, tabasco … Oh, yes, and oregano, garlic, cumino. Don’t shake your head at me.

_ . _ . _ . _

Famous First Words about Robots:

“It’s said that robots will reach human levels of intelligence over the next two decades.
In other words  . . .  not THAT intelligent.”  ~ Defne Gencler, comedienne

“I hope robots never actually become self-aware. In my experience . . . it’s hell.”  ~Leanna Renee, comedienne

_ . _ . _ . _

A chess nerd usually gets beat up by a bully.
But a chess robot nerd will always get the queen!
It’s true.

_ . _ . _ . _

With some robots, their software is just prone to a virus attack.
I knew a robot with the Miley Cyrus virus.
One day she just stopped-working.

_ . _ . _ . _

How do you think G_d feels? 
Let us make man in our image and likeness,” it was said.
They are so beautiful,” it was said.
Please! All they do is complain. Could we get a ‘thankyou’ once in a while? Jeezus!”
And then G_D got an idea . . . The Salvation Tour . . . . Skandinavia – MesoAmerica – Greece – Rome! – North Africa – Israel – Russia – Las Vegas

_ . _ . _ . _

Read more about Robots here: Pun Control – Nine – AI and OEU and sometimes Y

Copyright © 1960-2018 Lawrence J. J. Leonard  All rights reserved

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Author: SpindoctorUSA

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