by Lawrence J. J. Leonard
Please enjoy this holiday repartee between the Creator and the helpers.
G: Take that rolling green log in the river and fill it with teeth.
Angels: What about eyesight?
G: Give it two eyelids and uh , , , a tasty tail.
G: It’s really a hairy black potato – with wings.
Angels: Well . . . and?
G: And make it sleep upside down
G: Let’s put a needle on its butt.
Angels: But isn’t that going to?
G: Yeah, but make its barf up delicious.
G: Take a gorilla and shrink it down and make it smart.
Angels: Oo! Oo! Hey!
G: It should make THAT noise, too.
G: Get a pigeon and put a surfboard where its mouth goes.
Angels: We’ll have to make it waddle.
G: Yes! With flippers for feet and an annoying ‘quack’ call.
G: I need the softest fur for the warmest adorable hug.
Angels: That is so sweet!
G: And put razors blades on the end of each paw.
G: I want this one to make humans spray on chemicals
and then slap themselves when it flies by.
Angels: Hahaha! <ahem> Right away.
G: Give it eight really strong arms
Angels: Wuh – we just ran out of bones.
G: Right, then give it strong suction cup thingies.
G: Cow bear!
Angels: What? Wait.
G: Did I stutter?
Angels: No, but we . . .
G: Let’s take a cow and make it a bear, K?
G: We should tie-dye a little chick with big talons.
Angels: Does it cluck?
G: More like squawks – aaaaand repeats words it hears.
G: Let’s make a real thirsty cat with a fox face.
Angels: Any special coloring?
G: I’m thinking burglar mask or better yet, trash digging skills!
Angels: Uh , , ,
G: You’re right, Both! And with ringed tail.
G: This one’s going to have a long throat.
G: You’re right. Make it all throat. With teeth and adjustable jaw.
Angels: What about a face?
G: Round for the helpers, pointy for the killers.
G: So, we need a naked lizard that likes to bite.
Angels: How will it stay warm?
G: Jam it into an army helmet.
G: This one’s got eight spindly legs
Angels: Isn’t that excessive?
G: Also gonna have four pairs of eyes.
Angels: You might want to take a minute and , , ,
G: Give it a butt rope.
Copyright © 1960-2016 Lawrence J. J. Leonard All rights reserved.