Miss it

What AM I going to miss when I finally leave the surly bonds of Earth?

I can tell you what I am NOT going to miss.

I am not going to miss:

  1. Answering the phone at 11:00 p.m. and having the Asian guy on the other end ask for Juanita
  2. Doing the dishes after cooking Jimmy Dean’s sausage
  3. Sitting in a non-smoking section and having the smoking section one table over
  4. Driving behind discourteous women drivers and dangerous one-handed men drivers
  5. Worrying about bacteria on escalator rails and grocery push carts
  6. Returning to a store when I’ve been overcharged for an item
  7. Losing my keys
  8. Being too lazy to brush my teeth before I go to bed
  9. Waiting in a doctor’s office – for any reason
  10. Biting my nails
  11. Wedgies
  12. Pimples
  13. Missing one more sunset
  14. Barking dogs at 4:00 a.m.
  15. Thieves
  16. Fighting politicians
  17. and the other oxymoron – Constructive Criticism
  18. Wondering if my siblings were taught to “lord over me” – or was it a choice?
  19. Physical pain
  20. Body odor
  21. Little threads that pop out of the seams after washing a new garment
  22. Stubbing my toes
  23. Twisting my ankles
  24. Religious people who quarrel, gossip, and mock
  25. Supporting unfair taxing and social security systems
  26. Lazy Hollywood producers who use violence and gratuitous sex to cover their blatant lack of talent from behind and in front of the lens
  27. Not knowing who killed all those children
  28. Hurting someone’s feelings
  29. Yelling for no reason
  30. Tracking in mud on my new carpet
  31. Not helping people because I was too scared to ask
  32. Not doing good anyway
  33. Speeding to work
  34. Overdue library books
  35. Waiting on a library list.

I will miss you, I think.

Copyright © 1960-2015 Lawrence J. J. Leonard  All rights reserved.

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