Bunkhouse Logic – for Earthers, Humans, and Phosphate-based Lifeforms

by Lawrence J. J. Leonard  – April 2006 

* Don’t name a pet you plan to eat.

* A good fence needs to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

* Don’t sell your mule to buy a plough.

* Never corner something that is meaner than you.

* It does not take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You can not un-say a cruel thing. (Saying sorry for this is the same as putting toothpaste back into the tube. Just don’t go there.)

* Every path has some puddles.

* Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

* Don’t squat with your spurs on.

* Do not judge people by their relatives. They will do that for you.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live an honorable life. When older, think back.  You will enjoy it a second time.

* It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was.

* It’s better to be a never-made-it than a never-tried.

* The easiest way to eat crow is while it is still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swallow.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

* The biggest troublemaker you probably will ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it is still there with you.

* Good judgment comes from experience.  And a lot of ***that*** comes from bad judgment.

* You can’t tell how good a man or a watermelon is until they get thumped.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.

* Remember compliments you receive.  Forget the insults.  If you find that you are successful in doing this, please tell me how.

* Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

* Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know did not decide at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year olds I know, still haven’t decided.

* Maybe you will marry, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you will have children, maybe you won’t.  Maybe you will divorce at 30.  And maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

* Your choices are 50-50. So are everybody else’s.

* Whatever happens, do not pat yourself on the back. And, don’t come down too hard on yourself either.

* Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

* Dance, even if its in a barn.

* Read the directions, no matter what language it is. They don’t always translate the same.

* Do not buy magazines. Read them at the library.

* Get to know your parents. You never know when they will be scheduled for a one-way journey.

Copyright © 1960-2015 Lawrence J. J. Leonard  All rights reserved.

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